Friday, July 25, 2014

We Left the Lights On: The Tormentor

Trust me when I say that I am as sick and tired as everyone else when it comes to hearing about the latest national epidemic:  bullying.

I guess I simply accepted the so-called bullying that I experienced in grade school, middle school, and high school as a right of passage.  It built character or increased my resilience or something.

Photo:  Ah, my favorite character-building pastimes:  bullying and shoveling snow.

I am sure that my parents struggled watching me make friends that would ultimately turn into monsters and mean girls (seriously), but I am better for it in hindsight.

Video clip:  They seriously wouldn't have made this movie if it wasn't true...

High school really wasn't that bad and maybe I was even a bully at times, but only a goofball or nerdy one.

Video clip:  I'd stuff you in your lock-ER for not doing your homework!

I encountered some tough times at the Academy, but never felt bullied or put down or singled out for unfair treatment.  By the time I graduated I assumed I was in the clear.  Professional workforce here I come!

Things were generally fine until I went to Bagram.  I mean I was laughed at in meetings back at Lakenheath, but I was a second lieutenant and I was an idiot.  Briefings and taskers were certainly a right of passage and I figured that as long as I kept doing my best I would eventually dig myself out of that hole.  I mean the military really can't fire you and if you don't get a DUI or stop breathing, then you will eventually make rank (c.f. Captain Cockeyes) so I at least had that option going for me.

But in Bagram I couldn't do anything right.

I'll admit that I bombed my first briefing, but the rash of required pre-briefs to the pre-briefs to the actual briefings that I had to do were pure torture.  This was only required of me (no other lieutenants or captains) by the squadron commander, Major Tormentor.  They were one-on-one and were absolute misery with written and spoken reports required to prove I was doing as I was told.

I was cussed at and told I was stupid and incompetent and pathetic, but when I finally wised up and brought the Chief along none of this ever took place.  The major became affable and would even invite us to midnight chow and let us borrow his truck if necessary.

I felt like a fake and a whiner.  Every instance of torment that I relayed to the leadership team around me seemed implausible.  Who would believe a dumb second lieutenant over a major anyway?

There was one time when an individual had a seizure along the path between the buildings and I responded since I saw everything happen.  When the major showed up he told me to get lost.  Seriously.  I had gotten someone to call the medic and rolled the guy on his side and I was told to leave.  I didn't because I am obstinate, but COME ON!

Article:  I sucked; I'll admit that much.

Major Tormentor eventually showed his true colors one night barging into the unit and screaming and screaming and then trying to slam the door.  He actually tried to slam the door twice.  I had no idea what he tried to say and only remember laughing hysterically with the senior after he stormed out of the building without the sound effect of a door slamming shut.

He remained generally prickly and, besides giving some really terrible roll calls (to his own discredit), proved to be no worse than a bad bout of gas:  uncomfortable, but temporary.

Fortunately, despite all the crap leaders I had the distinct pleasure of working for, he remains only one of two that I might still hit with my car given the chance.  So that's a win for the Air Force!

It would be another two years until I met my next bully and entered a new dimension of leadership hell, but that story will have to wait since I am not quite done with Bagram yet.

NOTE:  That vehicular manslaughter threat is not real; it is just for storytelling purposes!

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